Slinging a smooth stone
By C.F. David

Miss Moneypenny and “Q” would have been proud

According to a CNN on-line story from Reuters News Service, police officers near Brussels, Belgium have apparently caught some ingenious and determined, rabbit hunters.

Two men and 14 rabbits, were found in a bulletproof car stopped by Belgian police officers.

The vehicle, a James Bond dream car; was equipped with among other things, a hare-blinding halogen spotlight, a spring-loaded box equipped with tire traps, a mechanism designed to jettison two junked bicycles in front of pursuers, lead sheeting over the license plates, and the aforementioned armor-plating.

Apparently, armor-plated cars are cheap in Belgium and rabbits bring a really high price.

It was never made clear in the story if the rabbits were to be sold on the open market, kept as pets, used for meat, or if the two hunters planned to keep them to start their own personal rabbit warren.

 

Though it has been impossible to confirm the following information about the preceding incident, it's being reported here somehow seems necessary. It is recommended however, that the reader reach for a large salt shaker . -Ed.

 

An inquiry was reportedly made as to the driver's identification.

It has been alleged that upon being asked to identify himself, the dapperly dressed bald-headed hunter raised a shaken (not stirred) martini to the officer and replied, “Fudd....Elmer Fudd; call me double-oh-seven. I have a license to kill wabbits.”

However, when Mr. Fudd was asked to produce said license he was unable to do so and was immediately taken into custody.

Fudd then reportedly burst into song (operatic) and began singing “Kill the wabbit. Kill the wabbit.”

His passenger, a Mr. T. Devil, was reportedly carrying a Tasmanian passport; and is alleged to have been extremely combative and resistant to arrest. He reportedly had to be restrained by several Belgian officers. It is also reported, though unproven, that Mr. Devil was, while restrained, placed into a large freight box in a transport plane on a nonstop flight to Tasmania, and later removed from the aircraft by parachute.

After taking each of their statements, the 14 hostages, (including four juvenile siblings Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter), were released, having chosen one B. Bunny as their spokesperson.

Another captive, one B'rer Rabbit objected to Bunny's having been chosen to speak, but the hostages insisted that Mr. Rabbit was “...too sneaky.” to speak for the group.

Bunny explained that Fudd, Devil and he [Bunny] have a history of conflict. Fudd and Devil have allegedly pursued and captured Bunny frequently over the past 30 to 40 years. It was Bunny's contention that despite the fact Devil has been deported and Fudd had been first incarcerated and then reprimanded, no rabbit will ever be safe with either man free on wildlife.

The word for the week is cartoon.