Want to make big bucks in the 21 st Century? Plug a needle into your arm.

 

*** Product warning to Mary Ruth Tapp; this morning, drink your coffee from a sippy cup.

Education has long been touted as the “road to success”.

Even 40 odd years ago, as a senior in high school there were dollar amounts thrown in mine and my classmates' faces as to how many dollars we would miss out on without a college education. But education, like many things is much like the wheel in a gerbil's cage, once you get on, you can't get off. A Bachelor's Degree is no longer enough. A Master's or Ph.D. are often necessary, or at least, extra hours. Teachers, nurses, mechanics, attorneys and even doctors are expected to “keep up”.

So, in keeping with the spirit of “keeping up” colleges and universities have sprung up everywhere, especially on the Internet.

A recent news lead made the claim that more than half of all degrees in the work force are bogus and blamed the race for education and online colleges that aren't accredited.

Some colleges online make no bones that they are not accredited, and even flaunt it by having weird names like… New Canoe U. I first read of New Canoe U., on the Reuters news Service Website.

New Canoe advertises itself as being a university that places more importance on information rather than diplomas. They have what is called “…a practical skill based curriculum for an interactive community of learners who share your interests.”

No money to pay for courses? You can enroll as an affiliate of good old N.C.U. and sell courses; sell five and you get a free scholarship.

The N.C.U. listed website is Newcanoeu.com; however a trip there takes you to sites in Alabama and California that discuss concrete canoe races, which is fodder for a whole different column.

Among the courses offered in 2004 were:

 

F How to become a Mystery shopper.

F Multi-level marketing, (see, sell courses, etc. above).

F how to start a catering business.

F How to take photos that sell E-Bay auction items.

F How to be a successful real estate investor.

F How to find and qualify for government grants for your business.

FF How to sell your body for science while you're still alive. This course description quickly points out that selling body parts is illegal; (in the U.S. ) the course description doesn't address third world countries…soooo… In any case, renewable body parts such as bone marrow, blood, hair, and even eggs and sperm; can be legally harvested. (According to N.C.U.), and sold. Drug companies will also pay as much as $150 a day to…well…lease your body. The course is taught by a grad of old Harvard University, and N.C.U. estimates that with a good needle and a pair of scissors, you might be able to make as much as $20 thousand per year. Among the questions answered:

 

F What years does your body have its highest value?

F What is the ideal height for a sperm donor…uh maybe that should be salesman?

Now I assume if you're going to sell renewable body fluids it might pay to also take N.C.U's course on “How to take photos that sell E-Bay auction items”. That skill might come in handy.

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